BREAKING: Zionists Declare Watermelon a Weapon of Mass Disruption
Dateline: Planet Earth, December 2025 — In today’s episode of “Things That Offend the Powerful,” Zionist politicians and their loyal guardians of moral outrage brigades have launched a full-scale assault on Disney’s Christmas advert.
Israel's Latest Battlefield - War on Watermelon
Forget bombs, rubble, and the daily news of children buried under concrete — the real threat to civilization, apparently, is a half-inch watermelon sticker on a teenager’s laptop. Yes, the fruit is now a weapon of mass destruction. The crime? A teenage actress dared to have a watermelon sticker on her laptop. Yes, the fruit. The one you eat in summer.
According to the guardians of eternal grievance, Zionist politicians, and their ever-faithful watchdogs, Disney+ has “politicized” its holiday campaign by smuggling in a secret pro-Palestine symbol. The watermelon, they insist, has long been a proxy for the Palestinian flag. Apparently, this half-inch sticker is not innocent produce but a coded pro-Palestine missile. One wonders if they also see cucumbers as Hezbollah sleeper agents and oranges as Hamas operatives.
Forget bombs, bulldozers, and blockades — the real existential threat to Israel is apparently fruit salad.
Disney, caught in the crossfire of fruit politics, of course, denied the accusation, claiming the sticker was chosen at random. But denial is never enough for the outrage industry. “Serious questions to answer,” they thundered, as if Mickey Mouse himself had been caught running an underground resistance cell.
The propaganda machine then shifted gears into full absurdity, drawing parallels between the watermelon and Nazi Germany. In their twisted narrative, Palestinians — victims of ongoing dispossession and bombardment — are recast as fascists, while the Israeli military, armed to the teeth and flattening cities, are noble partisans fighting for freedom. Somewhere, George Orwell is facepalming in his grave.
And because no smear is complete without a trip down memory lane, they dredged up Walt Disney’s alleged sins: hosting Leni Riefenstahl in 1938, joining the Motion Picture Alliance, and supposedly harboring anti-Semites. Never mind that Disney publicly supported Israel, employed Jewish actors, and donated generously to Jewish organizations. But apparently none of that matters when you’re busy weaponizing fruit.
But wait, there’s more. They even managed to rope in Florida governor Ron DeSantis, accusing Disney of siding with him in his crusade against teaching children about gender identity. Apparently, the watermelon is not only a Palestinian flag but also a Trojan horse for progressive education. Truly, this fruit is multitasking: resistance symbol, Nazi propaganda, and woke curriculum all in one rind.
Conclusion
So here we are: a tiny sticker sparks hysteria among those who cheer on war crimes, genocide, and the reduction of entire neighborhoods to dust. Images of dead children don’t disturb their conscience, but a watermelon laptop sticker does. That’s the apocalypse. If future generations read this history, they’ll struggle to believe that a fruit was treated as a mortal threat while mass killings were rationalized as “self-defense.”
That, of course, is the point. Rewrite history, control the narrative, and ensure that the genocide of Palestinians is remembered as a noble crusade. But some of us refuse to play along. I may be nobody, not scribbling by candlelight in an attic, but I am here — documenting, noticing, venting. My words may never escape this digital cage, but when I die, I will die with a conscience untainted by war crimes, profiteering, or the grotesque moral gymnastics of those who see fruit as dangerous but bombs as righteous.
Until next time, dear reader: stay safe, stay true, and beware of watermelons. The watermelon is coming for your civilization. Hide your children, lock your doors, and for heaven’s sake, check your fruit bowl.
Author: Mel Reese
EMAIL ADDRESS:
melreese72[at]outlook[dot]com
Dateline: Planet Earth, December 2025 — In today’s episode of “Things That Offend the Powerful,” Zionist politicians and their loyal guardians of moral outrage brigades have launched a full-scale assault on Disney’s Christmas advert.
Israel's Latest Battlefield - War on Watermelon
Forget bombs, rubble, and the daily news of children buried under concrete — the real threat to civilization, apparently, is a half-inch watermelon sticker on a teenager’s laptop. Yes, the fruit is now a weapon of mass destruction. The crime? A teenage actress dared to have a watermelon sticker on her laptop. Yes, the fruit. The one you eat in summer.
According to the guardians of eternal grievance, Zionist politicians, and their ever-faithful watchdogs, Disney+ has “politicized” its holiday campaign by smuggling in a secret pro-Palestine symbol. The watermelon, they insist, has long been a proxy for the Palestinian flag. Apparently, this half-inch sticker is not innocent produce but a coded pro-Palestine missile. One wonders if they also see cucumbers as Hezbollah sleeper agents and oranges as Hamas operatives.
Forget bombs, bulldozers, and blockades — the real existential threat to Israel is apparently fruit salad.
Disney, caught in the crossfire of fruit politics, of course, denied the accusation, claiming the sticker was chosen at random. But denial is never enough for the outrage industry. “Serious questions to answer,” they thundered, as if Mickey Mouse himself had been caught running an underground resistance cell.
The propaganda machine then shifted gears into full absurdity, drawing parallels between the watermelon and Nazi Germany. In their twisted narrative, Palestinians — victims of ongoing dispossession and bombardment — are recast as fascists, while the Israeli military, armed to the teeth and flattening cities, are noble partisans fighting for freedom. Somewhere, George Orwell is facepalming in his grave.
And because no smear is complete without a trip down memory lane, they dredged up Walt Disney’s alleged sins: hosting Leni Riefenstahl in 1938, joining the Motion Picture Alliance, and supposedly harboring anti-Semites. Never mind that Disney publicly supported Israel, employed Jewish actors, and donated generously to Jewish organizations. But apparently none of that matters when you’re busy weaponizing fruit.
But wait, there’s more. They even managed to rope in Florida governor Ron DeSantis, accusing Disney of siding with him in his crusade against teaching children about gender identity. Apparently, the watermelon is not only a Palestinian flag but also a Trojan horse for progressive education. Truly, this fruit is multitasking: resistance symbol, Nazi propaganda, and woke curriculum all in one rind.
Conclusion
So here we are: a tiny sticker sparks hysteria among those who cheer on war crimes, genocide, and the reduction of entire neighborhoods to dust. Images of dead children don’t disturb their conscience, but a watermelon laptop sticker does. That’s the apocalypse. If future generations read this history, they’ll struggle to believe that a fruit was treated as a mortal threat while mass killings were rationalized as “self-defense.”
That, of course, is the point. Rewrite history, control the narrative, and ensure that the genocide of Palestinians is remembered as a noble crusade. But some of us refuse to play along. I may be nobody, not scribbling by candlelight in an attic, but I am here — documenting, noticing, venting. My words may never escape this digital cage, but when I die, I will die with a conscience untainted by war crimes, profiteering, or the grotesque moral gymnastics of those who see fruit as dangerous but bombs as righteous.
Until next time, dear reader: stay safe, stay true, and beware of watermelons. The watermelon is coming for your civilization. Hide your children, lock your doors, and for heaven’s sake, check your fruit bowl.
Author: Mel Reese
EMAIL ADDRESS:
melreese72[at]outlook[dot]com